You've won the evolutionary lottery: You're a vampire. Let's go to Disneyland!
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
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Clary- "How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire.
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Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? Vampire mojo strikes again.
Terrific. A bisexual dominant vampire with kidnapping expertise.
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I coveted you. I had no right to want you--but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire.