I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best.
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[On Oscar Wilde:]
"If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
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I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort.
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I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her.
I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with the Oscars. That’s why I’m having the awards ceremony after we eat cake and I open my presents.
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Oscar Wilde: "I wish I had said that." Whistler: "You will, Oscar; you will.
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