Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.
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If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.
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Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.
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I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.
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If I saw you hitchhiking, I’d smile and return your thumb’s up, just for you doing such a great job of being a positive roadside influence.
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You know what I like most about people? Pets.
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