I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.
If love played an instrument, I’ll bet it would be the piano. 88 keys, double infinity, and the ability to chop down trees with a sharpened mustache.
I cut my hair so it looks like I just woke up all the time, so that I can be like, what year is it? I’ve been asleep since the 80s.
When I turned 30, I was done with Thousand Island dressing. I have moved on to Island Number 1001.
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.
crazy funny funny-and-random humor love
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
communication conversations funny humor mind